You may notice that they’ve begun to spend time with people you both would spend time with, and regularly fail to include you in their plans. They may make multiple visits to the area where you live over time and fail to touch base or start failing to acknowledge certain milestones or things that you both once viewed as special or important. One makes us want to support our friends or cheer them on while the other stings, especially if the feeling that we’re being overlooked, unincluded or forgotten is a frequent one, or if we didn’t quite see it coming. And while it’s important to remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup, we can certainly tell the difference between someone who puts themselves first in the name of self-care or seeking their family’s interest and someone who has simply stopped considering us. In the hectic, layered aspects of our lives, we can’t afford to not make ourselves our main priority.
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They no longer prioritise you or your needs This doesn’t mean that from the minute you feel that someone is low-energy, or there are a few weeks of radio silence that it’s a sign of things coming apart–people can become distracted by anything from work and family commitments to life changes to having to grapple with mental illness and trauma, which naturally would make them less available.īut if you find that, over a sustained period, the rapport has dimmed considerably, or that you’ve fallen out-of-sync with each other such that you don’t click the way you used to, perhaps that’s the progression of the friendship, and it might be better for both parties if you let the liaison die a natural death, without any hard feelings. The energy of your rapport consistently feels off Here are some potential clues you can look for to help identify a friendship on the rocks. So when it comes to how we think about our friendships, it’s always easy to know when things begin to feel differently, and while we might not want to be cynical and believe that we’re at the beginning of the end, it may be more hurtful in the long run to see things for what they are than to suffer until the final curtain. Some friendships are circumstantial, while some develop out of mere convenience many others simply fade, whether mutually or from a one-sided decision.Īll the same, constancy is important in friendships, and even with those seven-year cycles considered, there are always people who stay in our lives for much, much longer. This fact doesn’t make it any less tough to deal with, though.
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Regarding the matter of friends coming apart, we usually think that a massive rift must have happened for things to get to that point, but according to sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst of Utrecht University, as habits and lifestyles change, our friendship structures shift to the extent that we replace our close friends after seven years. When we think of breakups, we often think of romantic ruptures and heartbreak, but friendship breakups are definitely a thing, and they’re more natural than you might think.